B is for Brussel Sprouts

So back in July or August sometime I bought 2 brussel sprout plants from a man at the Mathews County farmers market. He assured that they would produce some of my favorite veggies, in fact he mentioned that I should start seeing production within a month! Well, I suppose it has been almost 3 months and still nothing.... Keep in mind that I have the whole "survival of the fittest" mentality when it comes to gardening. Sometimes I water my plants, sometimes they will go weeks on end without any love at all. I very much have a love/hate relationship with all things green. Normally, I look at my plants and think to myself, why can't you just water yourself? and stop looking so thirsty and decrepit! Other times I do feel genuinely bad and negligent and I it is during those times that I tend to over water. I also get a sick pleasure out of watering my plants right before or right after a rainstorm as if to say, there, You wanted water and you got it!

I think what my plants need are grumbling belly noise/device or something that audibly lets me know that they are on their deathbed, or at least struggling a bit. I will admit that I have forgotten to feed the dog on occasion. Before I begin receiving all the nasty comments don't worry, there are two people in our household and I assure you that P is waaayyyy better at feeding the pooch than I am. Needless to say, when I hear poor Newtie's belly grumbling I am instantly reminded of what a piss poor caretaker I am and I immediately (usually) feed him. If my plants could talk rather then simply appearing less visually stimulating then they would most likely be watered a little more often.

Wow, this post got out of control, and all I was trying to convey was how upset I am that I am not producing tasty brussel sprouts right now! I assure you that I am not an awful human being. My plants look OK, and my dog is at a very healthy weight, and on top of that my husband and I are far from being hungry. Side note: I hope this does not deter any family or friends from asking me to watch their children. I will feed a child, probably too much in fact, just not sandwiches with the crusts cut off!

Proof that my pooch eats!